Worst Google Business Profile Listings of All Time

We all need something to make us smile during difficult times.

So don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

This is the “official” list of the worst Google Business Profile listings.

Most, if not all of these listings should’ve read my brand management guide.

They’re also completely behind when it comes to the latest digital marketing trends.

And yes - Google My Business is now called Google Business Profile, though based on these listings, rebranding wasn’t their biggest concern.

Search Creative

Let’s start things off with a keyword stuffing train-wreck.

I really have no words to describe this, so I’ll use an emoji instead:

🤢

One could argue that the listing name is creative, but we’re not buying it.

We Are Open

Getting some mixed messages here…

Bob The Builder

Can he fix it?

Yes he can!

St Albans Electrician

The pun. The CTA. What’s not to like?

Wedding Cards

Umm…

SEO SERVICE

Come on. Who did this?

Locate me a personal trainer

It’s clear that voice search is on the rise.

Brave Agency

In all honesty, they were quite brave to use all that keyword stuffing!

Repairing absolutely everything

Wonder if these guys can repair 2020.

The White House

Looks a bit different from the last time we’d seen it.

We hear you, Anil.

Fish and chips and chicken and pizzas and burgers and kebabs

Ain’t that a mouthful!

NSFW

Hopefully your kids don’t get exposed to this one.

Garage door repair?

We’re a bit unsure about what these people do.

Packers and movers and packers and movers and packers and movers

But we’re 100% sure what these people do!

Nexa Accountants

Are those photos really how accountants do their accounting?

Plastic surgeon

Might as well turn into a barbie doll.

PSC Autocentre

What about Porsche and Opel???

In all seriousness…

Google Business Profile listings shouldn’t be taken advantage of by business owners.

Yes, this post is satirical, but please ensure you read the guidelines to avoid being on this list!

Whether you’re a freelance SEO consultant or an in-house marketer, please don’t create Google Business Profile listings that make people LOL!